Meri Dairy ( 3nd Letter)

Dear Maayesha,

First of all mein tumse sorry kahu ya jane thu…? Sorry isliye mang raha hu kafi wakt se meane tumhe koi khaat nahi likha kyuki main bohat jayeda busy tha apni life main bohat hi jayeda uljha pada tha is zindagi ke safar main or jane isliye thu ki tumhe ton koi farak padega nahi mare khaat likhne se kyuki tumhe konsa mare khaaton ka jawab deana hota hai tum ton bus khat padti hu or padkar pass main pade dastbin main feank deati hu.

Maayesha easa nahi hai ki mare dil main aab pyar nahi hai mujhe aaj bhi tumse utna hi pyar hai jitna ki 5 saal pehle tha bus farak hai ton itna ki pehle main tumhe bata sakta tha ki kitni mohabbat hai mare dil main tumhare liye lakin aab tumhe cahkar bhi nahi bata sakta. Yeah 5 saal mane kease guzare hai yeah main hi janta hu easa koi din nahi gea or easi koi raat nahi gai jab main tujhe yaad naa kiya hu.

Maayesha tumhe kya tumhe yaad hai tumne mujhse ek sawal pucha tha “Kya tumhe kabhi meri yaad aayegi ? ” us wakt mare pass tumhare is sawal ka jawab nahi tha lakin aaj mare pass is sawal ka jawab hai or agar aaj tum mujhse yeah sawal puchti ton main yeah kehta :-

Yaad rahega…. Sab kuch yaad rahega,
Boh adhuri baate – boh pure hue naate,
Boh Chandni raate or kuch unchue irade,
Boh sab yaad rahega.
Tera hona – Tera naa hona,
Tera hath thamna or kahe bina bus yuhi shodd deana,
Mera tujhse karib rehne ka or tabhi tera door jane ka har boh lamha yaad rahega,
Boh hatho ki porro se lakirro ko chunna or lakirro ke jarie rouh tak pahunchna,
Tare pass rehne ka har ek boh bahana yaad rahega.
Tare sath rehne ka har ek boh afsana yaad rahega.
Yaad rahega…
Kuch kehte kehte bhi kuch bhi naa keah jana,
Or kuch naa keah kar bhi bohat kuch keah jana,
Tare lafzo ki khamoshi ho ya phir aankho ki zubani hu,
Tera har boh zalim panha yaad rahega.
Yaad rahega…. Sab kuch yaad rahega….

Maayesha mujhse tumhare sath bitaea hua har ek boh hasin lamha yaad rahega or un hasin wakt main ki gaie baate bhi humesha yaad rahegi. Any way’s Happy Velantine Day & Miss you alot…

 

 

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Just Friend “2”

Main Uska Just Friend tha na ? Just Friend hi reh gaya tha.

Kuch din beete aur sab kuch normal sa ho gaya tha woh mere saath aab bhi utna hi waqt guzaarti thi aur main bhi pehle jaisa ho gaya tha Maine ussey puranni baaton ka zikra kia nahin tha Toh usko kuch pata nahin tha Uski life mein koi aur tha aur mere mann ke kisi kone mein yeh baat aaj bhi dabi thi ki main uska bas just friend tha Maine bhi apne dil se kaha Yaar “Let It Be” Dil se reply itna hi aaya okay bro , Let’s see..

Jab woh mere saath bilkul normal hai ton main udaas-udaas sa kyun behave karoon Chaand ki khwahish aaj bhi hai Par zaroori toh nahin ki paa hi loon Uske naam se log aaj bhi mujhe chedha karte the par prhle jaisi feelings nahin uthti thi aab main bhi realit accept kar chuka tha aur iss mein mujhe koi problem nahin thi woh kisi aur ki hai aur meri bas friend hai Kitni bhi koshish kar le teri life jhand hai woh aaj bhi jab apni baatein share karti thi toh mujhe accha lagta tha par mera mood tab kharaab ho jaata tha jab uski baaton ke beech mein uss teesre ka zikra hone lagta tha..

Bohat koshish karta tha main topic change karoon Par uski zubaan pe bas ek hi naam rehta tha dusri baat shuru karoon bhi toh kaise karoon Ek din usne uski kahin se photo chura li thi aur yeh baat woh aa kar mujhe bata rahi thi Mujhse kaha please kisi ko maat bataana Usey present mein surprise dungi promise karo na Usne uske liye ek poetry bhi likhi thi aur meri likhavat usne abhi tak padhi bhi nahin thi.

Yeh love trianle bhi accha tha main singer , woh dancer aur ek guitarist tha woh kehte hain na guitarist cool , stud hote hain shayad issi baat ne usey uska deewana kar diya tha Aise hi din chalte gaye aur kuch maheene beet gaye Hum world cup mein pakistan se ek baar phir se jeet gaye Agle din bhi issi baat ko lekar charcha thi aur sab bohat khush the Par woh kahin aur hi khoyi thi aur uske aankhon mein aansoon the woh baat kuch aur thi aur woh zyada hi chup-chup thi Ek hi taraf aankhein laga kar woh kuch aur hi soch rahi thi Toh maine issey na pooch kar Uski ek friend se poocha

Excuse me !!

Yeh aise behave kyun kar rahi hai ajeeb sa ? Toh usne bataya woh udaas hai kyunki uska break up ho gaya hai Aaj mere saamne bhi bohat royi hai Yeh theek nahin huya hai.

1 second break up !!

Uss guitarist ke saath uska break up ho gaya Arey waah !

Zyada wait bhi nahin karna pada aur mere raaste ka patthar saaf ho gaya. Main mann hi mann muskuraane laga Mera dil andar se naachne laga aur phir main uske paas gaya saath mein baitha aur poocha Kya huya hai ? Usne apni kahaani ko sunaana start kiya Mujhse baat karte waqt usne puraani yaadon ko taaza kiya Aaj pehli baar aisa huya tha woh ro rahi thi aur main has raha tha Mujhe bura bhi lag raha tha ki maine aisa toh waise kabhi nahin chaaha tha.

But anyways !! Aab meri phir se wahi puraani koshish jaari hogi Aab woh meri taraf se , Phir se meri waali hogi. Bhagwan se dil se duaa maangi main uska bas just friend nahin rehna chahta uske headphones ka replacement nahin rehna chahta woh udaas- udaas si rehti thi main usko khush karne ki koshish karta aankhon mein aankhein daal kar uski aankhein padhne ki koshish karta Main bohat khush rehne laga tha Hamesha smile karte rehta tha Yeh jo dusra mauka mila tha Isko aab nahin khona chahta tha woh mere kareeb thi toh kise baat ki kami thi meri haathon ki lakeerein uski lakeeron se milne ke liye hi bani thi.

Thode waqt ka intezaar tha , Intezaar tha sahi mauke ka abhi jaisa chal raha hai waisa chalne deta hoon Usko time do bahar aane ka. Aab wahi normal baatein hoti thi aur uski muskurahat bhi waapas thi Main din ba din usey kisi tarah motivate karte rehta tha aur woh samajh jaati thi Toh maine phir se usey thode bohat hints dena shuru kiya Par uss baddimag ladki ne ek ishaara nahin samjha Aab uske sath waqt guzarta rehta aur pata hi nahin chalta ki kab guzar gaya Aise hi phir kuch aur maheene beete aur naya maheena aa gaya Humaari baat banne waali thi mujhe lag raha tha. Seriously yaar iss friend-friend mein aab zyaada time ho gaya tha Par meri qismat itni bhi acchi nahin thi shayad woh zindgi mein meri likhi hi nahin thi. Kuch accha nahin hone waala hai , Mujhe laga tha Iss kahaani mein abhi thodha aur twist bacha tha.

Ussey dil ki baat Kya kabhi keh bhi paunga ya phir se adhoora reh jaunga. Kyunki uske behaviour mein thoda change sa aa gaya tha. Achanak uski baaton ka style mujhse formal ho gaya tha. Maine toh koi aisi harkat bhi nahin kari pata nahin kisne ussey kya keh diya tha. Woh thodi kati-kati si rehne lagi par baat toh mujhse karti hi thi uska interest mujh mein ghat na jaaye jaldi se dil ki baat kehni padegi.

Romantic hone ka reason bhi hai Autumn ka season bhi hai Aayine mein poori raat andaaz select kiya Aab jald se jald bolna bhi hai. Agle din gaya uska intezaar kiya par uss din woh aayi hi nahin wahan Dusre din bhi aisa hi huya main khaali haath laut gaya Par teesre din woh mili mujhe Sahi mauka hai bhai bol de. Maine kaha mujhe tumse kuch kehna hai. Usne kaha mujhe bhi aapse kuch kehna hai. Toh maine kaha pehle tum kaho Usne kaha nahin pehle aap kaho.

Pehle tum… Pehle aap… Pehle Tum…Pehle aap…

Aur end mein usey hi haar maan ni padi aur uss hi ne baat sguru kari , Main muskura kar uski baatein sunne laga aur usne kaha… Kal mera last day hai tumhare sath mein Iss sheher se shift ho rahi hoon toh milenge phir kabhi baad mein… Kya ????? Main shock ho gaya… phir usne poocha Aap kuch kehne waale the na ? Mera hosh toh aab bacha nahin tha toh maine kaha… Nahin kuch khaas nahin tha. Woh chali gayi yeh keh kar ki bohat kaam baaki hai. Par Mujhe pata tha usne kaha toh hai hum baad nein milenge par woh nahin milne waali hai. Uski aadat se main waaqif tha aur apni qismat par toh mujhe poora bharosa tha. Jisko main chahunga woh mujhe haasil nahin hoga aab yeh haqeekat banta dikh raha tha.

Aakhirkaar pehli baar Bhagwaan ne meri duaa sunn hi li… Meri wish thi na… Main uska just friend nahin rehna chahta aab sach mein… Main uske liye bas ek just friend ki tarha bhi nahin reh gaya tha. Uske Headphones ke replacement ki tarah bhi nahin Reh gaya tha…

Hello Guys…

Today I’m not feeling good I Don’t know Why ????
Agar socha jaye ton pata bhi hai ki kyu good feel nahi kar raha. Actually aab darr lagne lagga hai mujhe jo mare apne the agar boh badal gae ton kya hoga ?? Kya hoga agar mujhe unke binna jina pada ?? Mare liye mari strength mare dost hai or meri weakness bhi meare dost hi hai.

I Know main unki life itni importance nahi deata jitna ki main unko apni life main important samjhta hu. Actually boh bhi apni jagha thik hai har kise ki apni life hai easa jaruri ton nahi hai ki boh bhi mujhe utna pyar the jitna main unko deata hu Harr kise ki apni life hai or harr kise ko apne life ko apne hisab se jine ka hakk hai or hume koi hakk nahi hai ki unse ease question puchu.

Ek baat or share karni thi aap logo se kuch log humari life main ease bhi hote hai jo kise ke sath apna rista dall ton deate hai par us riston ko nibha nahi patte ton main unke liye bus jahi kahuga ki rista nibha pana koi badi baat nahi hai riste nibhae jaa sakte hai bus un riston ko nibhane ki nieyat honi cahiye. Koi bhi rista tab tak chalta hai jab tak dono tarf se ek dusre ko importance the rahe hai. Wakt ke sath sabko chalna padta hai par itna bhi naa badal jao ki aap apno ko hi piche shod jao. Har koi itna strong nahi hota ki boh apne aap ko sambhal sake isliye log dost banate hai taki jab boh tutte ton unko sambhalne ke liye unke pass unke dost ho lakin jab boh dost hi badal jaye ton boh insan kya karre jiski sari umide unse hai.

Aap sab log bhi sab sochte honge ki yeah banda kya faltu ki bakwas jaha share karte reahta hai par main aap logo se ek baat kahu bohat sari aap baate aapke dil main hoti hai par un baato ko aap apne dosto ke sath share nahi kar sakte kyuki aap apne dosto ko hearth nahi karna cahte main isliye apni filling jaha share karta hu taki unko hearth naa ho. I Know WordPress par ease bohat sare log hai jo mujhe jante hai or Mille hue bhi hai or main janta hu boh mujhe ashe se samjhte hai ton Thank-You un sabka or aap sabka bhi jo mujhe nahi jante par phir bhi meri mare blog ko itne diyan se padte hai or meri baato ko fill karte hai or apne apne view deate hai.

Just A Vichar ( 1st Blog ) 

Riston ke in dorr main zindagi ke is safar main bohat se loggo se riste bann jatte hai jo aage chal kar khas bann jate hai Or banne bhi kyu naa yeah safar akela kaha katta hai. Bease agar deakha jaye ton kise se koi rista bann jana koi baddi baat yaa rista banna leana muskil baat nahi hai agar muskil baat hai ton boh yeah ki hum un riston ko sambhal paate bhi ya nahi. 

Ek rista ek reasham ke dhage ke tarha hotta hai jo bohat hi nazuk or komal hotta hai lakin jab yeahi dhaga tut jata hai ton dobara judta nahi hai or judd bhi jaye toh isme ek ganth aa jati hai jo kabhi bhi dhage ko pehle ki tarha sundar or komal nahi banna Patti.

Life main utar cadhab ton harr ek ki life main aate hai par un utar cadab ka yeah matlab nahi ki hum un riston ko hi bhul jaye. Life main utar cadab ton aayege hi par life bohi jita hai jo in muskilo ka haskar samna karta hai. 

Zindagi ek na ek baar sabko girati hai or easa girati hai ki boh hume uthne ka mokka nahi deati lakin yeah hum logo ke upar dipend karta hai ki hum zindagi ki is jung se harr jaye ya khade hokar aage badde. 

Just Friend

Main uske liye bas ek just friend ki tarah tha uske headphones ke replacement ki tarah tha
Usko uss safar mein time kaatne ko koi baat karne waala cahiye tha
Mujh mein koi aisa uska interest – vinterest nahin tha
Par ussey bas Hi – Hello wali ton meri baat hi nahi hoti thi
Mujhe aisa lagta tha ki woh apni personal baatein mujhse share karti thi
Main phir “Just Friend” waala relationship isko kaise maan leta..??
Par woh ton bas just friend – just friend ki hi ratt lagaaye rakhti thi
Main bhi apne dil se rozz kehta tha ki usko friend ki nazar se hi deakha kar par uski smile hi itni qaatil thi ki dil se reply bas ek hi aata tha
Bro – It’s impossible
Woh jab aati thi ton uske chehre ke glow se mera chehra glow karne lagta tha
woh poore din itni fresh – fresh najaane kaise rehti thi
Uski wajha se main bhi taaza dikhne lagta tha
Woh baithti toh apne friends ke saath thi par main apni crush ke sath baithta tha
Mera dil andar hi andar machalta rehta tha aur usko koi fark hi nahin padta tha
Meri agr ke ladko ko toh woh bhaia keh kar bulaati thi
Main bhi toh ussey utna hi ek saal ka hi bada tha
Phir mujhe mera naam lekar kyun pukaarti thi ??
Par iss friend – friend ke tag se main khush nahin tha
Pehli baar koi ladki itni close aayi thi toh mujhe laga ki yeh mauka tha
Zyada himmat karke maine thoda healty waala flirt karna ussey shuru kar diya and guess what happened ?? woh gussa bhi nahin huyi usey ajeeb bhi nahin laga and I thought yeh toh kaam kar gaya. woh meri baaton par ab zyada muskuraati thi woh meri baaton par ab aur mujhe pagal bhi kehti thi.
Toh ab “Just Friend”ke level pe yeh mere liye bohat badi progress thi
Main cahta tha ki woh bhi mere liye wahi feel kare jo main uske liye kar raha hoon mere bhagwan meri itni si hi toh wish thi
Ab main uska jo haath pakad leta tha toh usko zara bhi ajeeb nahin lagta tha
Ab mere mann bhi yeh baat aane lagi thi ki ab main uske liye bas “Just Friend” ki tarah toh nahin ho sakta tha usko bhi toh andar se kuch feel ho raha hoga mujhse kuch kehne ka uske mann bhi zeal ho raha hoga
Issi suspense ne bas meri excitement badha rakhi thi ki Kab meri crush meri girlfriend mein badlegi Aur woh hints dene ke naam pe toh superb thi
Ki jab uska achanak hi mann hua ki woh mere muh se koi non-veg joke sune bahar – bahar se main sharma raha tha aur mann mein excited hokar yeh soch raha tha ki kaunse badhiya waale jokes mujhe uss wakt yaad the main ussey ab iss level ki baaton par pahoch chuka tha ki jo ab aam nahin thi ab main ussey jo thodi door bhi chala jaata tha toh woh khud mere pass aa jaati thi aur ab koi yeh kaise keh sakta tha ki woh mujh mein interested nahin thi
Ab mere aur uske charche thode mashhoor ho gaye the auro ki nazar mein hum relationship mein aa gaye the par woh abhi bhi apni baat pe stick thi ki hum bas friend the
NAHIN..!!
Aisa toh nahin ho sakta phir maine khud hi dimag lagaya ki shayad woh duniya ko nahin bataana cahti hogi par andar hi andar mujhe chahti hogi Ladkiyon ke funde toh waise bhi mere sar ke upar se jaate hain toh maine hi socha kyun na isey secret relationship naam de jaate hain par abhi tak maine ussey mere dil ki baat kahi nahin thi Kya karta ?? Koi perfect timing hi nahin mil rahi thi
Par ab yeh dosti uss verge tak pohoch gayi thi ki mujhe yakeen tha. Ki woh mere proposal pe haan hi karegi. Main bohat khush rehne laga tha hamesha smile karta rehta tha usko ab seriously dil se chata tha yeh kuch uper uper se nahin tha. Woh indication deti rehti thi mere confidence badhta rehta tha aur poori raat main bas yahi sochta rehta tha ki ab kal toh usey propose kar hi dunga
Toh maine bhi ek date final kardi ki ab jo hoga issi din hoga and finally woh date bohot jaldi aa gayi Kyunki mujhse intezaar hi nahin ho raha tha
2 chocolates rakhli maine bas pyar se usey khilaane ko Unn chocolates se hi jeb khaali ho gayi but kaafi tha impression jamaane ko
Poori Practice – Poori Rehearsal
Karke baal theek thak ja hi raha tha uske pass ki nazar padi koi aur tha uske sath
Deewar ke kone pe woh kahin khade the jahan jagah bhi nahin thi do logon ke khade hone ki par maine bhi apne dil ko samjhaya ki woh koi dost bhi toh ho sakta hai. Itni kya jaldi hai tootne ki toh main thodi pass gaya aur ek side mein chupke unki baat sunne ki koshish kari shayad woh jo ladka tha na.. uska birthday tha, aur woh usko gift kar rahi thi badi hi expensive ghadhi mere jeb mein chocolate padi padi pighalne lagi par woh jiski wajah se pighal rahi thi woh kahin aur hi thi khadi
Unki baatein sun kar lag raha tha ki woh bas dost toh nahin the Kyunki unki saari baatein romantic type ki aur baby baby karke ho rahi thi aankhon mein aansoon liye , main wahan se chala gaya kyunki woh toh bas ussey gale mulne mein busy thi. Woh chocolate rakhi kab pighal kar panni ho gayi nahin pata chala mujhe bas itna maloom tha ki ab mujhe ussey attraction nahin. Pyar ho gaya tha set life upset ho gayi eyes thodi si wet ho gayi woh mere itna close ho kar kisi aur se set ho gayi. Pehli baar itni khushi ki wajah meri zindagi mein aane waali thi. Par qismat hi meri nikli ki yeh bhi sabki tarah commited nikli.
Usne indications bhi ton itne diye ki jaise woh mujh mein interested thi aur galti bhi toh uski thi ki usne kabhi bataya hi nahin ki woh commited thi. Meri jo bhi thodi bohat excitement thi aaj unn sabka end ho gaya tha. Mein uska “Just Friend” tha na… “Just Friend” hi reh gaya tha.

Meri Dairy ( 2nd Letter)

Boh sham kuch azib thi… Yeah sham bhi azib hai… Boh kal bhi aass pass thi… Boh aaj bhi karib hai… Boh sham kuch azib thi…

Dear Maayesha…

Aaj zindagi ke is safar se ek calender nikal jayega kal phir ek sall aayega bease badlega ton kuch nahi badlega ton bus 2017 se 2018 ho jayega. Maayesha bhale hi sall bitte jaa rahe hai par main… Main ton aaj bhi usi jagha khada hu jaha tum mujhe shod ke chali gai thi janta hu tum nahi aaogi bapis par kahi na kahi is umid main baha khada hu ki shead tum bapis aa jaogi par janta hu tum nahi aaogi.

Maayesha tari kami ton aaj bhi is dil main bohat hai par kehne se darta hu kahi log is baat ka mazak naa banna lea. Bhale hi meri life main bohat se loggo ne jagha banna li hui hai par is dil main tum thi or tum hi rahogi.

Hum tumko bhula naa payenge.. Hum tumko rulla naa payenge.. Seah lunga sare gum. Teri yaad ke sahare ji leange.. Tu naa sahi teri yaad hi sahi… Teri yaado ke sahare ji leange…

Maayesha jab main yeah khat likh raha tha ton mare kanno main Lata ji ka bohi ganna sunai the raha tha tha jisse tum bohat gun gunati thi “Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho Lag Jaa Gale …”. Aaj bhi jab yeah ganna main sunta hu ton ankho main teri surat nazar aati

Aab tumse albida leane ka wakt aa gea hai is baat ko leakar tumse door janne ki izazat mangta hu or Bhagwan se yeah dua karta hu ki anne bala sall tumhe khusiyo se bharra mille bhalle hi un khusiyo main main naa hu. “Happy New Year” once again. Love You & Miss you alot time….

 

Kadar…

Aaj Mare Jazbaato ki tumhe koi kadar nahi hai, Par Deakhna ek din tum pachtaogi ?
Tumhari aankho ke ansu tumse rukhege nahi, Phir kease inhe logo ki nazro se shupaogi ?
Jab koi nahi sunnega baate tumhari, phir kisse apna hall-ae-dil sunaogi ?
Tumahri zindagi jab viran ho jayegi, Phir kiske upar haqq jatayogi ??
Jab kise ne bhi tumhe sahara nahi diya, phir lott kar tum mare pass aogi.
Lakin main tumhe nahi milugha, phir batao tum kiski tarf jaogi?
Aaj jo main dard se tadap raha hu bohi dard se ek din tum bhi tadpogi…